Friday, February 29, 2008

Getting "ICED"


"ICED", a video game which lets users assume the roles of illegal immigrants who try to avoid the police and deportation, is angering many who say the game is trivializing the issue, the Associated Press reported recently.

This is outrageous. I have never heard of a game which trivializes issues (did I tell you about http://www.kungfuelection.com/?)

Somebody has to stop this. With this inconceivable game, the people at http://www.breakthrough.tv/ are diverting our kids' attention from assuming the roles of characters who eviscerate people and obliterate virtual worlds.

I'm guessing that's why authorities, the Minutemen, bloggers and news outlets are all over this important story.

After all, if we let virtual illegal immigrants cross the virtual border, the virtual terrorists have won.

But fear not. There is a game where you can stop digital illegal immigrants from crossing the digital border, without the outrage, the authorities, the Minutemen, the bloggers and the news coverage.

Comedy Central's "Border Security" lets you stop pixelated immigrants from crossing the border, after you choose the game's difficulty (Barack Obama is "toughish", Ron Paul is "thoughest").





If you can click fast enough, the cyberspace border will be safe.



But even if you don't, you don't have to worry. This whole thing won't last much longer. Once "Grand Theft Auto IV" is out, your kids will be back at doing what they've being doing all along.



Here's a preview.
















Thursday, February 28, 2008

Criticize this!

I know I’m just a Life Editor, but sometimes I help other editorial departments (they use the word “meddle” but I don’t know what that means). Therefore, I believe I have the authority to help you, too.
Here’s your absolute guide to properly criticize the Freeman:

1. Know our political persuasion:

* If you are a Democrat, the Freeman obviously is a tool of the war-mongering Republicans.
* If you are a Republican, the Freeman evidently is a operation of the tax-and-spend Democrats.
* If you are a liberal, the Freeman clearly is a defender of the troglodyte, backward-thinking conservatives.
* If you are a conservative, the Freeman definitely is a puppet of the godless, treacherous liberals.
* If you are a Green, the Freeman is red.
* If you are a communist, you are lonely.
* If you are a politician, good luck buddy!

2. Turn any criticism of the paper into a gigantic conspiracy by the MAINSTREAM MEDIA.

Example: “You people didn’t print my letter because your MSM masters don’t like to hear the truth about ... (insert as many expletives as possible).”

3. Always start your critiques with “You people.” We people like it.

4. Abbreviate mainstream media to show your contempt (for spelling things out) and also to showcase your superb prowess for abbreviation.

5. If you have a valid criticism, don’t forget to add an insult or two.

Example: Say you didn’t agree with the winner of our pet contest. Here’s an actual letter:

“I find it rather sad that you pick a BIRD from the 450 photos!!!!!!!!!!! We are not sore losers, just aware the freeman would rather plaster GARBAGE on the front page rather than use the 450 entrees you did receive.”

6. If you use recycled newspaper for mulch (yes, you can) and your plants die, it’s the Freeman’s fault and another MSM conspiracy.

7. If you read the newspaper online and don’t have newspaper for mulch, it also is the Freeman’s fault and another conspiracy by the MSM to kill your plants.

8. It deson’t metatr if yuor lteter is flul of topys (make us work hard to understand you).

9. Be mean.

Example: YOU M$@#!$%^#%^&*S, WHERE’S MY “CHANNELS”?

...

Can you add a 10th one?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The poll

Although the city of Kingston is conducting a
poll to gauge what the public thinks should be done at the Uptown parking garage site, I've decided to make a more comprehensive one:

Click on the unclickable links to see the results and don't mail them to me.

1. Does the present availability of parking have bearing on whether you shop in Uptown Kingston?

A. What kind of silly question is this?
B. No, really, what kind of silly question is this?

2. What do you like about other parking facilities you have accessed recently? Check all that apply

A. I can park.
B. Chunks of concrete don't dangle like Michael Jackson's baby.
C. My car doesn't get keyed.

3. What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

A. What do you mean? An African or European swallow?

4. Do you have car insurance?

A. Car?
B. Insurance?
C. Does it count if I haven't paid it?

Architectural Elements:

1. Is it necessary for the garage to be structurally sound?

A. What was up with that swallow question?
B. Do you have a quarter?

2. Should there be an additional buffer zone of some specific distance around the perimeter of the Stockade Historic District where height should also be limited? And do you support the inclusion of a mixed income housing project to afford opportunities for a cross-section of residential, mixed use/mixed income opportunities with a set aside for affordable housing integrated throughout the building? And would you support the offer of a Payment In Lieu Of Taxes (PILOT) program, or any other incentives that may be available, if necessary to attract a qualified developer?

A. What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
B. All of the above.

Financial Considerations:

1. Should we pay for this thing?

A. Yes
B. Yes.

2. Really?

A. Yes.
B. Yes.

3. C'mon!

A. That's not a question.
B. Yes.

Potential Site Amenities:

1. What type of additional amenities, above and beyond what presently exists, would you like to see integrated into the Kingston Uptown Business District? Check all that apply

A. Disneyland
B. Strip club
C. Parking garage with parking spaces

2. Would you support creating and maintaining a significant public open space along North Front Street to allow for outdoor gathering?

A. Creating but not maintaining
B. As long as the public open space is not open to the public
C. Only if it is the "Gathering of the Vibes" or "Magic: The Gathering"

Housing Opportunities:

1. What type of housing ... are you really buying into this?

A. Not a chance.
B. Who do I make the check out to?

Historic/Cultural Resources:

1. Are you aware that the historic character and the official designation as a National Historic District increase the value of properties in the Stockade District?

A. I'm aware this question seems loaded.
B. Great. Now I really can't pay my mortgage.

Community Character:

1. Does the community have character?

A. Community?
B. Character?
C. Can't you just let me park my car, please?

2. What characteristics or amenities do you feel are most appealing about the Uptown District? Check all that apply

A. I see dead people
B. Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.
C. R-o-s-e-b-u-d.

Alternative Solutions:

1. Do we really have to have alternative solutions?

A. Alternatively
B. Well, I think ...

2. You talkin' to me?

Much ado about head garments

So Barack Obama walks into a ceremony in Kenya in 2006 wearing a turban ...

(no, this is not the start of a bad joke -- those will follow later).

This is news because, perhaps, somebody in the Clinton campaign apparently "leaked" an easily available news photo -- from the Associated Press, no less -- to blogger Matt Drudge, according to blogger Matt Drudge.

According to Al Jazeera in English, which actually writes better English than Matt Drudge, "The Drudge Report website had published the image of Obama wearing Somali clothing, which it (that's you, Mr. Drudge) alleges was sent by Clinton staff" (also note the proper way of doing attribution, Mr. Drudge).

The story continues, quoting Professor Abdallah Schleifer, a foreign policy specialist at the American University in Cairo (who is an actual person with an actual name, Mr. Drudge):

"Why is that a smear? Well ... You have to understand that in America there is a section of society for which terrorism and Muslims are associated together," the story said.

(Note also, Mr. Drudge, that Al Jazeera used a different easily available photo which was widely distributed to thousands of news outlets all over the world in 2006).

...

What can we learn from all of this?

That, obviously, there is a "section of society" that wears threatening head garments.

These individuals are:

* The guy in Monopoly (and he has a mustache!)

* The Allman Brothers' Dickey Betts, who plays the Bardavon in Poughkeepsie on May 4, and also has a mustache.





* Dr. Jekyll (and Mr Hyde!)

* The pope (I'm not messing with him - his hat's too big)

* The Cat in the Hat (the audacity of having "Hat" in the name!)

* Times Square's Naked Cowboy (who only and only wears underwear, boots and a hat - A HAT I'm telling you!)

* Dumb Donald from Bill Cosby's "Fat Albert." (Cosby plays the Ulster Performing Arts Center Sunday at 3 and 7 p.m., but there is no word if the legendary comedian is going to wear head gear).



* And The Spanish Inquisition, which nobody was expecting.



And that's it. Nobody else wears anything on their heads.


P.S.: I would have posted all the easily available photos of this scandalous head cover-up. But unfortunately, nobody has "leaked" them over to me yet.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Mistakes happen

But this one seems to happen a lot.



Ted Kennedy also fell for it.

A while back when he wasn't well known, CNN decided to investigate the whole issue:



But people still fall for it today. And you know there will be more.
...

Wait a second! Why is this an issue?

Local wins

Congratulations are in order for Ulster County seudo-resident Joel Cohen, who along with brother Ethan, won two Oscars for directing and adapting the screenplay for "No Country for Old Men." That movie also won for best picture and for best supporting actor, the Spanish shotgun with a silencer named Javier Bardem.

(Note to CNN's Lou Dobbs: They're giving Oscars to foreigners. Commence outrage).

Cohen is married to Oscar winner Frances McDormand, from "Fargo," ya.
They share their time in New York City and Ulster County, according to the good people at the Woodstock Film Festival. The couple lives with their Paraguayan-born son Pedro.
TANGENT: Vote for Pedro! (but not you, Lou Dobbs!)

People with local connections who have appeared in Cohen movies include Ulster County part-timer Steve Buscemi (6 times), McDormand (5) and former SUNY New Paltz student John Turturro (4).
...
Cynthia Wade's "Freeheld" won the Oscar for documentary short subject. The movie was screened at the Woodstock Film Festival last year, but you might remember her better for her documentary "Shelter Dogs" about Rondout Valley Kennels in Accord.

...

"Michael Clayton" was partially shot in Orange County. The movie had seven nominations and won best supporting actress (Tilda Swinton).

...

Ellen Chenoweth, an advisory board member at the Woodstock Film Festival, was casting director for winners "No Country for Old Men" and "Michael Clayton." She also did the casting for 2005's "Good Night, and Good Luck" with Dutchess County's David Strathairn, who played Dutchess County's Edward R. Murrow.

Hudson Valley losers:

* Stewart Airport, which appeared in "American Gangster" (two nominations, no awards).

* "I'm Not There," about former Woodstocker Bob Dylan, as played in one incarnation by Cate Blanchett, who already has an Oscar anyway.

* The opening film at the Woodstock Film Festival last year, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," which had four nominations and received no statues.

* Lou Dobbs, for kicks. Although he's not from the valley, he did host spooky New York State Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno on Halloween to talk about what you already guessed -- ghoulish immigrants.
Actual quote from that show, taken completely out of context: "Nebulous. Nebulous. Nebulous."


* Yours truly, for stretching the local ties as much as ridiculously possible and going off on impossibly irrelevant tangents.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Shooting stars, part II

Another person who can shoot stars is Freeman photographer Tania Barricklo.

Just take a look at her shot of the moon from Wednesday.



I've been told that mine, two posts down, looks like a thumb.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Shooting stars

It's obvious from the post below that I can't shoot stars.

Photographer Elliott Landy of Woodstock, however, has been doing that for a long time.

The Ulster County Community College Larry Berk Artist-In-Residence has shot Bob Dylan, Jimmy Hendrix, Jim Morrison and a whole bunch of other stars. The college, which apparently likes long titles, is hosting a number of upcoming events with Landy.

The Freeman's Blaise Schweitzer reports about Landy's vision on Friday.

There will be iconic photos, but we only have permission to use them once, in print, which means you are going to have to save 50 outrageous cents in order to see them.
...

About the artist-in-residence program title: The late Larry Berk was a gigantic arts force at the college -- and the community at large. At UCCC, he launched the poetry forum and the artist-in-residence program. He was responsible for much more, but you get the point.

In 1998, he also was my first source for my first story when I was a very green college journalist. He didn't quite like the story about his online literacy program, though his letter to the editor was the nicest I can remember. My awful story started with a bad quote: "It's not worth it." His program later won national recognition, putting me in my place.

He died at 59 in November 2006 after a 5-year battle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (Lou Gehrig’s Disease).
His worthy arts legacy lives on, big time, and I'm sure he would've liked that.

The reason why I write ...

... is because I can't take photos.

The earth decided to eclipse the moon earlier than I had said it would (the lunatics!) and it looked big and beautiful.

My camera disagreed.




Talking about junk from space, a defense official says a missile launched from a Navy ship in the Pacific hit the U.S. spy satellite it was targeting 130 miles above Earth's surface, the Associated Press just reported.

The red side of the moon

Once in a blue moon, there is a red moon.

That is happening tonight, just like in the clip below (without the titles and the music, I think).



Something called Saturn (which I hear is a god) and the star Regulus (which I hear is a star) will be visible nearby.






Regulus, you might know, is the brightest star in the constellation Leo, which I hear looks like Leonardo (the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, not the guy from the "Code"). Hence the name (to me, it looks like a bunch of stars).

"Regulus" is Latin for "Prince," which is English for this:



And Saturn, I'm told, has rings (The Romans liked jewelry), which you can see if you have a telescope.

NASA has the real specifics (and the copyright).


The eclipse will last nearly an hour. Earth's shadow is expected to begin to cover the moon at 10 p.m. tonight here in the East Coast.


If the weather cooperates (it won't), everything will be sweet.

P.S. If you are one of those readers who like to read my post the day after they're posted, don't fear. The next total lunar eclipse will be Dec. 20.

Of 2010.


Consolation prize: There will be a partial lunar eclipse and total solar eclipse this year in August.

Monday, February 18, 2008

A blog's blog

I guess "my sources” were right.

Some bloggers were not too amused with the “How to blog” blog
(most people just didn’t read it).

And that’s fine, even though my sources tell me they are going to dislike this post a bit more.

Because what’s not fine is to compare news features with blogs, especially if the blog is yours, which is just what a blogger I won’t name did (it's enough to say his name starts with Roger and ends with Thornhill).

And as I responded to Mr. name-I-won’t-name-goes-here, I don’t think you can be unbiased about your own blog.

Example: “Ivan Lajara’s blog is much better than yours,” according to Ivan Lajara.
Would you believe this outrageous sentence? (of course you would).


But the bigger point bloggers usually make is that news companies are losing readers because of blogs.

Yet, news companies actually have the same readership, if not more, than ever before. What they are losing is newspaper circulation, because readers are going online ... also to newspaper Web sites (The Freeman gets 800,000 page views a month, according to a November post by my boss, Ira Fusfeld).

All that has some revenue implications. But, thankfully for me, I don’t do math or work in the Circulation Department.

...

Don’t get me wrong, I love the Web's information revolution (Type for Freedom!), which allow us to be interactive, gives everyone a voice and allows me to post photos of my cat so you can completely ignore him.


(Please don't, he scratches when you do).





The Internet also allows me to let you know about The Internets:



And that is just beautiful.

...
P.S. It was mentioned that the "blog" blog sounded somewhat angry, which begs some questions: Angry? Me? ME, ANGRY? WHAT? W$@T#^F%*&? ...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

More President's Day fun!


President's day reminds me of the White House and that dog who lives in it (Barney), which in turn reminds me that the Freeman's pet contest results are in.
Get yourself a copy, now. I'll wait.



I'm still waiting.
...
By the way, Barney's Web site, pictured below, will give you a wonderful reminder of what's being done with your taxes -- things like Barney photos and Barney videos. They're so cute, I don't think I can't wait until April to file taxes.


Happy Birthday, Mr. Presidents!

"Although our nation's presidents were unique individuals with different styles and approaches to the presidency, they all have one characteristic in common,” according to the White House's page for kids (silly rabbit, the White House schtick is for kids!)

The common characteristic all the presidents have is, of course, the fact that all the presidents were bundled up in a warm one-day celebration, of car sales, originated by car salesman Abraham Lincoln, if my understanding of history (and advertising) is correct.

The holiday started as a celebration of the birthday of the man who currently resides in the $1 bill. But Lincoln decided to cheapen things by appearing on the penny and also by having his birthday celebrated (other presidents don’t have birthdays).


Tangent: Lincoln, very, very old readers might remember, issued the first dollar bill, with a picture of of Salmon P. Chase, the Secretary of the Treasury under, you guessed it, President Abraham Lincoln.

A decision was made in 1968 by a date-meddling body called The Congress to change the celebration, because Washington and Lincoln didn't get along (it had something to do with not living at same time) and also because Washington’s big day was on Feb. 11 and the 22, according to the many celebrations marked by calendar-challenged Americans back in the day.

So, of course, we celebrate the day on Feb. 18 this year, the third Monday in February, because Lincoln's birthday was Feb. 12 and because The Congress found out that Washington kept changing his birthday, which is why I'm assuming his headquarters in Newburgh have been celebrating the day since Saturday.

Washington's Headquarters State Historic Site is still marking G.W.'s birthday Monday from 1 to 4:30 p.m., with a portrayal of Washington by John Koopman (Benjamin Franklin also is set to show up, without a kite). There are also plans for storytelling, weaving, a puppet show, military re-enactors, musicians and the obligatory cake.

Please don’t let them make their cake and eat it, too.

Admission is by donation. Call (845) 562-1195.

I would attend the celebration (not really), but I am working on Monday. Although I’ve been trying for the past seven years to get those pesky newsmakers (like the weather) to stop making news (rain) during federal holidays (or days when the bank's not open), my pleas don’t seem to be working.

I will try again next year.


P.S. I know I’ve offended many with my blatant disrespect for the Fantastic Fathers, also known as the Founding Four.

But please don’t send me to Guantanamo Bay. Although I hear that its residents have health insurance, three meals a day and extreme sports like aquatic-boarding, I have grown fond of icy roads, collapsing garages and potholes.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Rulez 4 writin gooder then everyones

I've heard (in my head) that some of you might not have enough time in your daily lives to tell the World Wrestling Web what you had for breakfast. This is an unacceptable and disturbing trend which must be stopped at any cost (and I would if I wasn't so busy telling you I had eggs, bacon and cheese this morning).

So—as a newspaper-man of to-morrow—I'd like to give you some tips I've researched (see post below for tips on research) to help you write like a "pro" (as in baseball player on steroids):

* Jump to any page at any junction in a junior dictionary and jumble every jumbo word you can juggle into a juicy jug of a junk sentence.

* And make your sentences as long as possible, even if it sounds repetitive and redundant or characterized by verbosity or unnecessary repetition in expressing ideas, the idea being that the reader will soon agree with whatever you say after loosing his or her or it (no discrimination here, folks) train of thought or the interconnection in the sequence of ideas expressed during a connected discourse or thought, as well as to the sequence itself, especially in discussion how this sequence leads from one idea to another ... wait, what was I talking about? I don't know. Hence, I assume I know what I am talking about.






Better example: Instead of saying "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth," say this:



Don’t turn your eyes toward something in some direction in order to see a large, solid-hoofed, herbivorous quadruped, domesticated since prehistoric times, bred in a number of varieties - and used for carrying or pulling loads, for riding, and for racing - which happens to be something given voluntarily without payment in return, in the cavity containing the structures used in mastication.


* Invalidate your early examples by giving a "Better Example."

* Make sure you are ostentatious enough by including "ostentatious" in everything you write.


* When you give tips about writing, say "say" instead of "write."


* Try to use a great #, and %, of simbols & punctuation marks! Comas ... semicolons: These. Are. Your. Friends. Use them - as much as you can - in any fashion; + in any form @ any time (parenthesis work too [brackets work as well {but don't overdo it}]). Period.

* Write "period." Add a period.

* If you use "a lot" of "quotes," "people" will "think" you have "credibility."

* Use euphemisms if you know what the heck they are.

* Should you ask yourself a question and answer it? Yes. For real? For sure.


If you follow these progressive value-added tips and resources I've facilitated with synergy, you're ready to stay competitive in tomorrow's world in order to become a highly paid mission statement writer for a cutting edge corporation.



I'll send you an invoice.



...



The following blog was made possible by http://www.dictionary.com/ and Webster.



Wednesday, February 13, 2008

How to blog

Research shows that blogging is increasingly becoming an indispensable source for news. And my sources tell me that almost everybody has a blog these days.

Just in case you don't have a blog, here are some rules for proper blogging:

* When you don't know what you are talking about, say "research shows."

* When you make stuff up, say “my sources tell me” (“Some people say” also works).
Example: “My sources tell me other bloggers are going to hate this post.”

* EMPHASIZE YOUR SENTENCES WITH CAPITAL LETTERS. READERS LIKE WHEN YOU DO THIS (AND DON'T FORGET TO ADD EXCLAMATION MARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

* Include information which should be easily obtained by reading other media and pass it as your own (Freeman reporters will appreciate that). And don't forget to decry the source where you’ve got your information as biased.

* Make sure you include a typoooooo.

* Steal a copyrighted image from a Web site and include it in your post. Like this:



* Include an embarrassing video of a politician that has nothing to do with the issues or the campaign.



* Include an expired or broken link.

* Say “LOL” but make sure you sound bitchy.

* Include an irrelevant poll:

Example:

Are you kidding me?

A. Yes.
B. No.
C. All of the above.

* Say "You're welcome"

You're welcome.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Primary results

I wouldn't be a responsible blogger if I didn't give you information you already know.
So here are the latest primary results:

* Virginia:




P.S. Virginia: I told you last year, there is a Santa Claus. Stop bugging me.

* The old line state, Maryland:

The same (they're lazy).

* District of Columbia

Again, the same, because the district is trying to prove who's more original.
As punishment, D.C. will get (more) taxation without representation.

Your ultimate guide to the primaries. Really! (not really)

Regular readers of this space (all two of you) might have noticed that it’s been a week since I last wrote anything.

To put things in simple terms, I was busy (being lazy).

As a token of my appreciation for your loyal support or your search for embarrassing typos, I will provide you with a guide I devised a long time ago (4:30 p.m. today) to understand, once and for all, how the electoral primary process works.

First, a few concepts:

* A primary is not a secondary.

* A party delegate is a person who, after you vote, can ignore your vote.

* A superdelegate is a delegate of the Democratic Party with super powers, such as heat vision, the ability to fly and the power to totally screw up the election process. Republicans don’t need superdelegates because they have Arnold Schwarzenegger and Chuck Norris.

* The Electoral College is a college where nobody graduates or pays tuition, room and board and where every four years the president of the most powerful nation in the world is chosen by just over 500 “electors” (undergraduates) at their respective state capitol buildings (keg parties where you are not invited, even if you bring an empty plastic cup and $5).

* A party nominating convention is not really a party (though there are plenty of balloons) and there is no beer, so there is no real need to explain this further. The so-called parties also are supposed to adopt a platform -- a statement of party principles and goals, such as how many balloons to bring to the convention — and adopt the rules for the party's activities, such as how many times a candidate is supposed to say the word “change.”

* A party nominee is chosen at the nominating convention, which is called “American Gladiators.”

* A nominating caucus is like a primary but instead of pulling a lever, candidates are elected using other methods such as straw polls or bingo.

The process:

* Pick candidates.

* Candidates say “change.”

* Candidate who says “change” more often wins “momentum” (money).

* Candidates say they hate money in politics.

* Candidates raise record-breaking amounts of money.

* Candidates say they hate the “status quo” or, in other words, Latin.

* Each party chooses one candidate they don’t really like that much.

* People vote between the two candidates who used to be human beings before the process began.

* Electoral College votes for whomever it chooses (the Supreme Court can join in).

* New president starts/ends war(s).

* Rinse and repeat every four years.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Super Tuesday, III

Unofficials results in Ulster County:
* Hillary Clinton received 7401 nods to Barack Obama's 7012.
* John McCain received 3370 to Mitt Romney's 1806.
* Add all Republican votes in Ulster County and you get 6671, not enough to independently beat either Clinton or Obama - Ouch!

Interesting numbers:
DEMOCRATS:

* Obama won the most liberal enclaves (Woodstock, New Paltz, Olive, Rosendale, SHANDAKEN?, ROCHESTER?, MARBLETOWN?)

* The closest margin for the Democrats were in Denning:
Clinton, 21;
Obama, 19;
John Edwards , with 3, and Dennis "WHERE ARE THE WEAPONS?" Kucinich, with 1, got the votes Obama wanted.

Same goes for Gardiner, where Clinton received 289 votes and Obama received 283, just six votes short of tie (yes, I know how to count).
Double Ouch! Look where the other votes went to:
Edwards, 8;
Kucinich, 6;
Bill Richards, 4;
Joe Biden, 2.

REPUBLICANS:

* Ron Paul received 562 votes in the county. Rudy Giuliani received 223.

* John McCain won every town in Ulster County and Romney was second in every town except for Denning (Huckabee was second there with 10 votes).

Interesting non-number:
There's one precint in Ulster that has not reported (bad Wawarsing!).

...
The moral of the primary story?

Move to Denning, votes really count out there.
And if you are a voting Republican in Ulster, ask to be put in the endangered species list.

Congratulations to everyone who voted (pat yourself in the back) and shame on all the rest (who must now buy me a beer).

I'll be waiting.

Super Tuesday, II

By the way, the information in the post below (not the silly images) come via the Ulster County Board of Elections' Web site in the just released unofficial primary results.

Here's the agency's rundown, which I've shamelessly taken from the site (Click on the image to enlarge).


Super Tuesday

It seems senators Hillary Clinton and John McCain are closing in the nominations for their respective parties (the blue ass and the red elephant, I believe), at least in Ulster County.

So the final outcome might look like this:




Or, who knows, maybe this:



Scary stuff

One more

This will be the last slide show from last year's pet contest.
Deadline for this year's contest is Monday.





I must confess, the headline of the entry call, "The Freeman wants your pets" might be a little off-putting.

Or as fellow editor Joe Gerace said, "It is the most diabolical headline I've ever seen."

That's my guess on why there's an online poll out there asking people if there would "give" their pets to the Freeman. In that poll, the great mayority (less than 20) are vociferously saying no -- or at least as vociferously as you can get by clicking your mouse.

For the record, hundreds have "given" us their pets this year, and we're still getting a great deal more.

Keep them coming.

Or else.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Another kind of violence in video games

Did you read today's Life story, "More than child's play," about the Wii Senior League of bowlers in Marlbletown?

Alert readers might have noticed that Jack Baldwin, 93, was not wearing the Wiimote strap on his wrist. Photos of other virtual bowlers in the print edition of the Freeman also showed the same pattern.

BEWARE!

This is what can happen if you do that, according to http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/




And you thought "Mortal Kombat" was dangerous.

...

Talking about "Mortal Kombat," Super Tuesday is right around the corner, and New Yorkers get to have their say.


If you can't wait, visit http://www.kungfuelection.com/, where you can use your favorite candidates (even those who are out of the race) and put them into a dirty political fight ...

... to the death!




Where is Tipper Gore when you need her?

Pets on deadline

Deadline for the Freeman's Pet Contest is Feb. 11.

As promised, here are some of your loved ones from last year's Pet Pals category.